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第58章 CHAPTER XVIII LIKES AND DISLIKES (1)

"My heart revolts within me, and two voicesMake themselves audible within my bosom."

WALLENSTEIN.

On Margaret"s return home she found two letters on the table: one was anote for her mother,--the other, which had come by the post, wasevidently from her Aunt Shaw--covered with foreign post-marks--thin,silvery, and rustling. She took up the other, and was examining it, whenher father came in suddenly:

"So your mother is tired, and gone to bed early! I"m afraid, such athundery day was not the best in the world for the doctor to see her.

What did he say? Dixon tells me he spoke to you about her."

Margaret hesitated. Her father"s looks became more grave and anxious:

"He does not think her seriously ill?"

"Not at present; she needs care, he says; he was very kind, and said hewould call again, and see how his medicines worked."

"Only care--he did not recommend change of air?--he did not say thissmoky town was doing her any harm, did he, Margaret?"

"No! not a word," she replied, gravely. "He was anxious, I think."

"Doctors have that anxious manner; it"s professional," said he.

Margaret saw, in her father"s nervous ways, that the first impression ofpossible danger was made upon his mind, in spite of all his making lightof what she told him. He could not forget the subject,--could not passfrom it to other things; he kept recurring to it through the evening, withan unwillingness to receive even the slightest unfavourable idea, whichmade Margaret inexpressibly sad.

"This letter is from Aunt Shaw, papa. She has got to Naples, and finds ittoo hot, so she has taken apartments at Sorrento. But I don"t think shelikes Italy."

"He did not say anything about diet, did he?"

"It was to be nourishing, and digestible. Mamma"s appetite is prettygood, I think."

"Yes! and that makes it all the more strange he should have thought ofspeaking about diet."

"I asked him, papa." Another pause. Then Margaret went on: "Aunt Shawsays, she has sent me some coral ornaments, papa; but," added Margaret,half smiling, "she"s afraid the Milton Dissenters won"t appreciate them.

She has got all her ideas of Dissenters from the Quakers, has not she?"

"If ever you hear or notice that your mother wishes for anything, be sureyou let me know. I am so afraid she does not tell me always what shewould like. Pray, see after that girl Mrs. Thornton named. If we had agood, efficient house-servant, Dixon could be constantly with her, andI"d answer for it we"d soon set her up amongst us, if care will do it. She"sbeen very much tired of late, with the hot weather, and the difficulty ofgetting a servant. A little rest will put her quite to rights--eh, Margaret?"

"I hope so," said Margaret,--but so sadly, that her father took notice of it.

He pinched her cheek.

"Come; if you look so pale as this, I must rouge you up a little. Takecare of yourself, child, or you"ll be wanting the doctor next."

But he could not settle to anything that evening. He was continuallygoing backwards and forwards, on laborious tiptoe, to see if his wifewas still asleep. Margaret"s heart ached at his restlessness--his trying tostifle and strangle the hideous fear that was looming out of the darkplaces of his heart.

He came back at last, somewhat comforted.

"She"s awake now, Margaret. She quite smiled as she saw me standingby her. Just her old smile. And she says she feels refreshed, and readyfor tea. Where"s the note for her? She wants to see it. I"ll read it to herwhile you make tea."

The note proved to be a formal invitation from Mrs. Thornton, to Mr.,Mrs., and Miss Hale to dinner, on the twenty-first instant. Margaret wassurprised to find an acceptance contemplated, after all she had learnt ofsad probabilities during the day. But so it was. The idea of herhusband"s and daughter"s going to this dinner had quite captivated Mrs.

Hale"s fancy, even before Margaret had heard the contents of the note. Itwas an event to diversify the monotony of the invalid"s life; and sheclung to the idea of their going, with even fretful pertinacity whenMargaret objected.

"Nay, Margaret? if she wishes it, I"m sure we"ll both go willingly. Shenever would wish it unless she felt herself really stronger--really betterthan we thought she was, eh, Margaret?" said Mr. Hale, anxiously, asshe prepared to write the note of acceptance, the next day.

"Eh! Margaret?" questioned he, with a nervous motion of his hands. Itseemed cruel to refuse him the comfort he craved for. And besides, hispassionate refusal to admit the existence of fear, almost inspiredMargaret herself with hope.

"I do think she is better since last night," said she. "Her eyes lookbrighter, and her complexion clearer."

"God bless you," said her father, earnestly. "But is it true? Yesterday wasso sultry every one felt ill. It was a most unlucky day for Mr. Donaldsonto see her on."

So he went away to his day"s duties, now increased by the preparationof some lectures he had promised to deliver to the working people at aneighbouring Lyceum. He had chosen Ecclesiastical Architecture as hissubject, rather more in accordance with his own taste and knowledgethan as falling in with the character of the place or the desire forparticular kinds of information among those to whom he was to lecture.

And the institution itself, being in debt, was only too glad to get a gratiscourse from an educated and accomplished man like Mr. Hale, let thesubject be what it might.

"Well, mother," asked Mr. Thornton that night, "who have accepted yourinvitations for the twenty-first?"

"Fanny, where are the notes? The Slicksons accept, Collingbrooksaccept, Stephenses accept, Browns decline. Hales--father and daughtercome,--mother too great an invalid--Macphersons come, and Mr.

Horsfall, and Mr. Young. I was thinking of asking the Porters, as theBrowns can"t come."

"Very good. Do you know, I"m really afraid Mrs. Hale is very far fromwell, from what Dr. Donaldson says."

"It"s strange of them to accept a dinner-invitation if she"s very ill," saidFanny.

"I didn"t say very ill," said her brother, rather sharply. "I only said very farfrom well. They may not know it either." And then he suddenlyremembered that, from what Dr. Donaldson had told him, Margaret, atany rate, must be aware of the exact state of the case.

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