THE SINS OF CAPTAIN JERRY
Captain Perez made a clean breast of it to Captain Eri when he reached home that night. It was after twelve o'clock, but he routed his friend out of bed to tell him the news and the story.
Captain Eri was not as surprised to hear of the engagement as he pretended to be, for he had long ago made up his mind that Perez meant business this time. But the tale of the fire and the voyage in the carryall tickled him immensely, and he rolled back and forth in the rocker and laughed until his side ached.
"I s'pose it does sound kind of ridic'lous," said the accepted suitor in a rather aggrieved tone, "but it wa'n't ha'f so funny when 'twas goin' on. Fust I thought I'd roast to death, then Ithought I'd freeze, and then I thought I'd drown.""Perez," said the panting Eri, "you're a wonder. I'm goin' to tell Sol Bangs 'bout you next time I see him. He'll want you to enter in the races next Fourth of July. We've had tub races and the like of that, but a carryall sailin' match 'll be somethin' new. I'll back you against the town, though. You can count on me.""Now, look here, Eri Hedge, if you tell a livin' soul 'bout it, I'll--""All right, shipmate, all right; but it's too good to keep. You ought to write a book, one of them kind like Josiah used to read.
Call it 'The Carryall Pirate, or The Terror of the Channel,' hey?
Gee! you'd be famous! But, say, old man," he added more seriously, "I'll shake hands with you. I b'lieve you've got a good woman, one that 'll make it smooth sailin' for you the rest of your life. Iwish you both luck."
Captain Perez shook hands very gravely. He was still a little suspicious of his chum's propensity to tease. It did not tend to make him less uneasy when, a little later, Captain Eri opened the parlor door and whispered, "Say, Perez, I've jest thought of some-thin'. What are you goin' to say to M'lissy Busteed? Her heart 'll be broke.""Aw, git out!" was the disgusted answer.
"Well, I only mentioned it. Folks have had to pay heavy for breach of promise 'fore now. Good-night."Perez manfully told of his engagement at the breakfast table next morning, although he said nothing concerning the rest of his adventures. He was rather taken aback to find that no one seemed greatly surprised. Everyone congratulated him, of course, and it was gratifying to discern the high opinion of the future Mrs. Ryder held by Mrs. Snow and the rest. Captain Jerry solemnly shook hands with him after the meal was over and said, "Perez, you done the right thing. There's nothin' like married life, after all.""Then why don't you try it yourself?" was the unexpected question.
"Seems to me we'll have to settle that matter of yours pretty soon.
I meant to speak to Eri 'bout it 'fore this, but I've had so much on my mind. I will to-night when he comes back from fishin'."Captain Jerry made no further remarks, but walked thoughtfully away.
So that evening, when they were together in Captain Jerry's room after supper, Perez, true to his promise, said:
"Eri, it seems to me we've got to do somethin' 'bout Mrs. Snow.
She was hired to be housekeeper while John was sick. Now he's dead, and she'll think it's queer if we don't settle that marryin'
bus'ness. Ain't that so?"
"Humph!" grunted Captain Jerry. "Perez is in a mighty sweat to git other folks married jest 'cause he's goin' to be. I don't see why she can't keep on bein' housekeeper jest the same as she's always been.""Well, I do, and so do you, and you know it. We agreed to the housekeepin' bus'ness jest as a sort of put off. Now we can't put off no longer. Mrs. Snow come down here 'cause we advertised for a wife, and she's been so everlastin' good that I feel 'most ashamed every time I think of it. No use, you've got to ask her to marry you. He has, hasn't he, Eri?""Yes," answered Captain Eri laconically.
The sacrifice squirmed. "I hate to ask," he said. "Why don't we wait a spell, and let her say somethin' fust?""That WOULD be nice, wouldn't it? She's that kind of a woman, ain't she?" sputtered Perez. "No, you bet she ain't! What she'd say would be to give her opinion of us and our manners, and walk out of the house bag and baggage, and I wouldn't blame her for doin' it.""P'raps she wouldn't have me. She never said she would.""Never said she would! Have you ever asked her? She's had all this time to l'arn to know you in, and I cal'late if she was willin' to think 'bout it 'fore she ever see you, she'd be more willin' now. Ain't that so, Eri?
And again Captain Eri said shortly, "Yes.""I wish you'd mind your own consarns, and give me time," protested Captain Jerry.
"Time! How much time do you want? Land of Goshen! I should think you'd had time enough. Why--""Oh, let up!" snorted the persecuted. "Why don't you git married yourself, and bring Pashy over to keep house? What we started to git in the fust place was jest a wife for one of us that would keep things shipshape, and now--"The withering look of scorn that Perez bent upon him caused him to hesitate and stop. Captain Perez haughtily marched to the door.
"Eri," he said, "I ain't goin' to waste my time talkin' to a--a dogfish like him. He ain't wuth it.""Hold on, now, Perez!" pleaded the discomfited sacrifice, alarmed at his comrade's threatened desertion. "I was only foolin'. Can't you take a joke? I haven't said I wouldn't do it. I think a heap of Mrs. Snow; it's only that I ain't got the spunk to ask her, that's all.""Humph! it don't take much spunk," replied the successful wooer, forgetful of his own past trepidation.
"Well," Captain Jerry wriggled and twisted, but saw no loophole.
"Well, give me a month to git up my courage in and--""A month! A month's ridic'lous; ain't it, Eri""Yes."
"Well, three weeks, then."
This offer, too, was rejected. Then Captain Jerry held out for a fortnight--for ten days. Finally, it was settled that within one week from that very night he was to offer his heart and hand to the lady from Nantucket. He pledged his solemn word to do it.
