Anyhow,you're a first-rate housekeeper.And I really do think an awful lot of you.Mrs.Coffin stepped no farther in the direction of the kitchen.
Instead,she strode toward the rickety chair and its occupant.
Kyan grasped the pipe with both hands.
You poor--miserable--impudent--began the lady.
Why,Keziah,don't you WANT to?He spoke as if the possibility of a refusal had never entered his mind.I cal'lated you'd be glad.You wouldn't have to go away then,nor--My soul and body!
some one's knockin'at the door!AND THIS DUMMED PIPE'S FETCHEDLOOSE!
The last sentence was a smothered shriek.Keziah heeded not.
Neither did she heed the knock at the door.Her hands were opening and closing convulsively.
Be glad!she repeated.Glad to marry a good-for-nothin'sand-peep like you!You sassy--GET down off that chair and out of this house!Get down this minute!I can't!This stovepipe's loose,I tell you!Be reason'ble,Keziah.Do--don't you touch me!I'll fall if you do.Pl-e-ase,Keziah!--O Lordy!I knew it.LAVINY!The door opened.On the threshold,arms akimbo and lips set tight,stood Lavinia Pepper.Her brother's knees gave way;in their collapse they struck the chair back;the rickety leg wabbled.Kyan grasped at the pipe to save himself and,the next moment,chair,sections of stovepipe,and Mr.Pepper disappeared with a mighty crash behind the high-boy.A cloud of soot arose and obscured the view.
Keziah,too indignant even to laugh,glared at the wreck.In the doorway of the kitchen Grace Van Horne,hammer in hand,leaned against the jamb,her handkerchief at her mouth and tears in her eyes.Lavinia,majestic and rigid,dominated the scene.From behind the high-boy came coughs,sneezes,and emphatic ejaculations.
Miss Pepper was the first to speak.
Abishai Pepper,she commanded,come out of that this minute.Her answer was a tremendous sneeze.Then from the dusky cloud by the wall sounded a voice feebly protesting.
Now,Laviny,began poor Kyan,I never in my life--Do you hear me?Come out of that!
There was a sound of scrambling.More soot floated in the air.
Then around the corner of the high-boy appeared Mr.Pepper,crawling on his hands and knees.His hair was streaked with black;his shirt front and collar and shirt sleeves were spotted and smeared with black;and from his blackened cheeks his red whiskers flamed like the last glowing embers in a fire-scarred ruin.
Laviny,he panted,I never was so surprised and upsot in all my life afore.This was too much for Grace.She collapsed in a chair and laughed hysterically.Even the wrathful Keziah smiled.But Lavinia did not smile.For that matter,neither did her brother.
Hum!sneered Miss Pepper.Upsot!Yes,I see you're upsot.Get up,and try to look as much like a Christian as you can!Kyan rose from his knees to his feet and rubbed his back.He glanced reproachfully at Grace,then fearfully at his sister.
I was just tryin'to help Keziah take down her stovepipe,he explained.You see,she didn't have no man to--Yes,I see.Well,I judge you got it down.Now you go out to the sink and wash your face.Heavens and earth!Look at them clothes!I do hope you didn't hurt yourself,Abishai,said the sympathetic Keziah.Then,as remembrance of what had led to the upset came to her,she added:Though I will say 'twas your own fault and nobody else's.Lavinia whirled on her.
His own fault,was it?she repeated,her voice shrill and trembling.Thank you very much,marm.I cal'late 'twas his own fault comin'here,too,wa'n't it?Nobody led him on,I s'pose.Nobody put him up to riggin'out in his best bib and tucker and sneakin'here the minute I was out of the house.No,nobody did!Of COURSE not!
