登陆注册
37890000000004

第4章 MASTER HUMPHREY, FROM HIS CLOCK-SIDE IN THE CHIMNE

He was a very substantial citizen indeed. His face was like the full moon in a fog, with two little holes punched out for his eyes, a very ripe pear stuck on for his nose, and a wide gash to serve for a mouth. The girth of his waistcoat was hung up and lettered in his tailor's shop as an extraordinary curiosity. He breathed like a heavy snorer, and his voice in speaking came thickly forth, as if it were oppressed and stifled by feather-beds. He trod the ground like an elephant, and eat and drank like - like nothing but an alderman, as he was.

This worthy citizen had risen to his great eminence from small beginnings. He had once been a very lean, weazen little boy, never dreaming of carrying such a weight of flesh upon his bones or of money in his pockets, and glad enough to take his dinner at a baker's door, and his tea at a pump. But he had long ago forgotten all this, as it was proper that a wholesale fruiterer, alderman, common-councilman, member of the worshipful Company of Patten-

makers, past sheriff, and, above all, a Lord Mayor that was to be, should; and he never forgot it more completely in all his life than on the eighth of November in the year of his election to the great golden civic chair, which was the day before his grand dinner at Guildhall.

It happened that as he sat that evening all alone in his counting-

house, looking over the bill of fare for next day, and checking off the fat capons in fifties, and the turtle-soup by the hundred quarts, for his private amusement, - it happened that as he sat alone occupied in these pleasant calculations, a strange man came in and asked him how he did, adding, 'If I am half as much changed as you, sir, you have no recollection of me, I am sure.'

The strange man was not over and above well dressed, and was very far from being fat or rich-looking in any sense of the word, yet he spoke with a kind of modest confidence, and assumed an easy, gentlemanly sort of an air, to which nobody but a rich man can lawfully presume. Besides this, he interrupted the good citizen just as he had reckoned three hundred and seventy-two fat capons, and was carrying them over to the next column; and as if that were not aggravation enough, the learned recorder for the city of London had only ten minutes previously gone out at that very same door, and had turned round and said, 'Good night, my lord.' Yes, he had said, 'my lord;' - he, a man of birth and education, of the Honourable Society of the Middle Temple, Barrister-at-Law, - he who had an uncle in the House of Commons, and an aunt almost but not quite in the House of Lords (for she had married a feeble peer, and made him vote as she liked), - he, this man, this learned recorder, had said, 'my lord.' 'I'll not wait till to-morrow to give you your title, my Lord Mayor,' says he, with a bow and a smile; 'you are Lord Mayor DE FACTO, if not DE JURE. Good night, my lord.'

The Lord Mayor elect thought of this, and turning to the stranger, and sternly bidding him 'go out of his private counting-house,'

brought forward the three hundred and seventy-two fat capons, and went on with his account.

'Do you remember,' said the other, stepping forward, - 'DO you remember little Joe Toddyhigh?'

The port wine fled for a moment from the fruiterer's nose as he muttered, 'Joe Toddyhigh! What about Joe Toddyhigh?'

'I am Joe Toddyhigh,' cried the visitor. 'Look at me, look hard at me, - harder, harder. You know me now? You know little Joe again?

What a happiness to us both, to meet the very night before your grandeur! O! give me your hand, Jack, - both hands, - both, for the sake of old times.'

'You pinch me, sir. You're a-hurting of me,' said the Lord Mayor elect pettishly. 'Don't, - suppose anybody should come, - Mr.

Toddyhigh, sir.'

'Mr. Toddyhigh!' repeated the other ruefully.

'O, don't bother,' said the Lord Mayor elect, scratching his head.

'Dear me! Why, I thought you was dead. What a fellow you are!'

Indeed, it was a pretty state of things, and worthy the tone of vexation and disappointment in which the Lord Mayor spoke. Joe Toddyhigh had been a poor boy with him at Hull, and had oftentimes divided his last penny and parted his last crust to relieve his wants; for though Joe was a destitute child in those times, he was as faithful and affectionate in his friendship as ever man of might could be. They parted one day to seek their fortunes in different directions. Joe went to sea, and the now wealthy citizen begged his way to London, They separated with many tears, like foolish fellows as they were, and agreed to remain fast friends, and if they lived, soon to communicate again.

When he was an errand-boy, and even in the early days of his apprenticeship, the citizen had many a time trudged to the Post-

office to ask if there were any letter from poor little Joe, and had gone home again with tears in his eyes, when he found no news of his only friend. The world is a wide place, and it was a long time before the letter came; when it did, the writer was forgotten.

It turned from white to yellow from lying in the Post-office with nobody to claim it, and in course of time was torn up with five hundred others, and sold for waste-paper. And now at last, and when it might least have been expected, here was this Joe Toddyhigh turning up and claiming acquaintance with a great public character, who on the morrow would be cracking jokes with the Prime Minister of England, and who had only, at any time during the next twelve months, to say the word, and he could shut up Temple Bar, and make it no thoroughfare for the king himself!

'I am sure I don't know what to say, Mr. Toddyhigh,' said the Lord Mayor elect; 'I really don't. It's very inconvenient. I'd sooner have given twenty pound, - it's very inconvenient, really.' - A

thought had come into his mind, that perhaps his old friend might say something passionate which would give him an excuse for being angry himself. No such thing. Joe looked at him steadily, but very mildly, and did not open his lips.

同类推荐
  • 云松巢集

    云松巢集

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 徐兆玮日记

    徐兆玮日记

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 太清元极至妙神珠玉颗经

    太清元极至妙神珠玉颗经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 归庐谭往录

    归庐谭往录

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • The Brethren

    The Brethren

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
热门推荐
  • 嘘,谁来了

    嘘,谁来了

    世间的事,谁能说得清。剪不断,理还乱。可是,当人们眼红心黑的一瞬间,你,相信天谴么? 无关联的单个故事。
  • 天魂之殇

    天魂之殇

    天魂大陆,魂者为尊南蛮,西沙,东海,北雪,异界,天界踏破千山万水只为寻求心中的梦境?
  • 哀殿下的守护骑士

    哀殿下的守护骑士

    我亲爱的哀殿下,老天爷既然给了我来到这个世界的机会,那这一世,我必陪伴你的身旁,做你专属的守护骑士。
  • 阴缘难了

    阴缘难了

    桥下的算命大爷跟我说,我最近将双喜临门。一是乔迁新居,二是喜结连理。他说的乔迁之喜我倒是承认,但这喜结连理……实在是无稽之谈。我原本就不信这些,便忍不住开玩笑道:“大爷,我怎么没瞧见过自己有位等我过门的老公?要不我付你双份钱你给我整个?”然而就在那天晚上,在我睡得正熟的时候,有一只冰冷的手揽住我的腰。还凑在我耳边扬言说:“听说你等不及要见我……”
  • 英雄联盟之喷子修炼手册

    英雄联盟之喷子修炼手册

    艾黎满脸懵逼,劳资一个黑铁,你让劳资穿越到了英雄联盟段位低就活不下去的魔物世界?问了问旁边将死的大哥:现在是公元几几年?现在是公元...呃...我也不清楚,咳咳好几百年前就有人对这个话题争论不休了,后来人类强者拼了命把魔物们限制在西北的沙漠,就定制了一套新的纪年,叫:神魔纪!
  • 我的上司老婆

    我的上司老婆

    他一介布衣,无权无势无钱;她位高人权,是跨国集团的老总。他普普通通,没有很大的志向,只想简简单单的活着;她野心勃勃,从小发誓成为第一女强人!他和她是两个世界的人。然而,命运弄人,一次啼笑皆非、糊涂的同居之后,他们两个的世界,渐渐纠缠在了一起。
  • 我真的不想造反

    我真的不想造反

    专业搬砖工小潘,一觉醒来发现自己以后再也不能搬砖了。他爹潘仁美不让,他姐更是为了不让他搬砖,让皇帝下了一道圣旨!
  • 世子很皮

    世子很皮

    天呐!我怎么成了那个被湘王召集起来阖家自焚的孩子!??大明初期风云激荡,注定要被活活烧死的湘王世子朱久炎,必须要改变湘王府覆灭的命运,功过成败,一切将会如何改写?
  • 王者荣耀:刀光剑影

    王者荣耀:刀光剑影

    无限时空中,时光的洪流汇聚于同一片大陆。机关术与魔道肆虐,让这个大陆面目全非。英雄,那些熟知的名字,不可思议的聚集在一起。抛却了过往荣光,来到了这片神奇的大陆。那个时代…英雄荟萃,不同位面的英雄纷纷为王,强者与强者之间,注定躲不过刀光剑影…剑圣宫本武藏:别挣扎了,我,是无敌的。青莲剑仙李白:“大河之剑天上来。”战神吕布:“我,是这个世界的梦魇……”善恶怪医扁鹊:“生存与死亡,这是个问题。”双面君主刘邦:“不客观的说,我是个好人。”…………
  • 阵临封神

    阵临封神

    阵法的本质究竟是什么?能有什么用?杨无言经过漫长岁月的感悟后终于明白:阵之通玄,可以封神。