The sense of his words did not at once strike home to me,and Imurmured,in great disorder,that the king had sent for me.
'The king knows nothing of it,'was his blunt answer,bluntly given.And he thrust the paper back into my hands.'It is a trick,'he continued,speaking with the same abruptness,'for which you have doubtless to thank some of those idle young rascals without.You had sent an application to the king,Isuppose?Just so.No doubt they got hold of it,and this is the result.They ought to be whipped.'
It was not possible for me to doubt any longer that what he said was true.I saw in a moment all my hopes vanish,all my plans flung to the winds;and in the first shock of the discovery Icould neither find voice to answer him nor strength to withdraw.
In a kind of vision I seemed to see my own lean,haggard face looking at me as in a glass,and,reading despair in my eyes,could have pitied myself.
My disorder was so great that M.du Mornay observed it.Looking more closely at me,he two or three times muttered my name,and at last said,'M.de Marsac?Ha!I remember.You were in the affair of Brouage,were you not?'
I nodded my head in token of assent,being unable at the moment to speak,and so shaken that perforce I leaned against the wall,my head sunk on my breast.The memory of my age,my forty years,and my poverty,pressed hard upon me,filling me with despair and bitterness.I could have wept,but no tears came.
M.du Mornay,averting his eyes from me,took two or three short,impatient turns up and down the chamber.When he addressed me again his tone was full of respect,mingled with such petulance as one brave man might feel,seeing another so hard pressed.'M.
de Marsac,'he said,'you have my sympathy.It is a shame that men who have served the cause should be reduced to such.
straits.Were it,possible for me,to increase my own train at present,I should consider it an honour to have you with me.But I am hard put to it myself,and so are we all,and the King of Navarre not least among us.He has lived for a month upon a wood which M.de Rosny has cut down.I will mention your name to him,but I should be cruel rather than kind were I not to warn you that nothing can come of it.'
With that he offered me his hand,and,cheered as much by this mark of consideration as by the kindness of his expressions,Irallied my spirits.True,I wanted comfort more substantial,but it was not to be had.I thanked him therefore as becomingly as Icould,and seeing there was no help for it,took my leave of him,and slowly and sorrowfully withdrew from the room.
Alas!to escape I had to face the outside world,for which his kind words were an ill preparation.I had to run the gauntlet of the antechamber.The moment I appeared,or rather the moment the door closed behind me,I was hailed with a shout of derision.
While one cried,'Way!way for the gentleman who has seen the king!'another hailed me uproariously as Governor of Guyenne,and a third requested a commission in my regiment.
I heard these taunts with a heart full almost to bursting.It seemed to me an unworthy thing that,merely by reason of my poverty,I should be derided by youths who had still all their battles before them;but to stop or reproach them would only,as I well knew,make matters worse,and,moreover,I was so sore stricken that I had little spirit left even to speak.
Accordingly,I made my way through them with what speed I might,my head bent,and my countenance heavy with shame and depression.
In this way--I wonder there were not among them some generous enough to pity me--I had nearly gained the door,and was beginning to breathe,when I found my path stopped by that particular young lady of the Court whom I have described above.
Something had for the moment diverted her attention from me,and it required a word from her companions to apprise her of my near neighbourhood.She turned then,as one taken by surprise,and finding me so close to her that my feet all but touched her gown,she stepped quickly aside,and with a glance as cruel as her act,drew her skirts away from contact with me.
The insult stung me,I know not why,more than all the gibes which were being flung at me from every side,and moved by a sudden impulse I stopped,and in the bitterness of my heart spoke to her.'Mademoiselle,'I said,bowing low--for,as I have stated,she was small,and more like a fairy than a woman,though her face expressed both pride and self-will--'Mademoiselle,'Isaid sternly,'such as I am,I have fought for France!Some day you may learn that there are viler things in the world--and have to bear them--than a poor gentleman!'
The words were scarcely out of my mouth before I repented of them,for Mathurine,the fool,who was at my elbow,was quick to turn them into ridicule.Raising her hands above our heads,as in act to bless us,she cried out that Monsieur,having gained so rich an office,desired a bride to grace it;and this,bringing down upon us a coarse shout of laughter and some coarser gibes,Isaw the young girl's face flush hotly.
The next moment a voice in the crowd cried roughly 'Out upon his wedding suit!'and with that a sweetmeat struck me in the face.
Another and another followed,covering me with flour and comfits.
This was the last straw.For a moment,forgetting where I was,Iturned upon them,red and furious,every hair in my moustachios bristling.The next,the full sense of my impotence and of the folly of resentment prevailed with me,and,dropping my head upon my breast,I rushed from the room.
I believe that the younger among them followed me,and that the cry of 'Old Clothes!'pursued me even to the door of my lodgings in the Rue de la Coutellerie.But in the misery of the moment,and my strong desire to be within doors and alone,I barely noticed this,and am not certain whether it was so or not.
