WOLFVILLE'S FIRST FUNERAL.
"These yere obsequies which I'm about mentionin'," observed the Old Cattleman, "is the first real funeral Wolfville has."The old fellow had lighted a cob pipe and tilted his chair back in a fashion which proclaimed a plan to be comfortable.He had begun to tolerate--even encourage--my society, although it was clear that as a tenderfoot he regarded me with a species of gentle disdain.
I had provoked the subject of funeral ceremonies by a recurrence to the affair of the Yellowhouse Man, and a query as to what would have been the programme of the public-spirited hamlet of Wolfville if that invalid had died instead of yielding to the nursing of Jack Moore and that tariff on draw-poker which the genius of Old Man Enright decreed.
It came in easy illustration, as answer to my question, for the Old Cattleman to recall the funeral of a former leading spirit of Southwestern society.The name of this worthy was Jack King; and with a brief exposition of his more salient traits, my grizzled raconteur led down to his burial with the remark before quoted.
"Of course," continued the Old Cattleman, "of course while thar's some like this Yallerhouse gent who survives; thar's others of the boys who is downed one time an' another, an' goes shoutin' home to heaven by various trails.But ontil the event I now recalls, the remainders has been freighted east or west every time, an' the camp gets left.It's hard luck, but at last it comes toward us; an' thar we be one day with a corpse all our'n, an' no partnership with nobody nor nothin'.
"'It's the chance of our life,' says Doc Peets, 'an' we plays it.
Thar's nothin' too rich for our blood, an' these obsequies is goin'
to be spread-eagle, you bet! We'll show Red Dog an' sim'lar villages they ain't sign-camps compared with Wolfville.'
"So we begins to draw in our belts an' get a big ready.Jack King, as I says before, is corpse, eemergin' outen a game of poker as sech.Which prior tharto, Jack's been peevish, an' pesterin' an'
pervadin' 'round for several days.The camp stands a heap o' trouble with him an' tries to smooth it along by givin' him his whiskey an'
his way about as he wants 'em, hopin' for a change.But man is only human, an' when Jack starts in one night to make a flush beat a tray full for seven hundred dollars, he asks too much.
"Thar ain't no ondertakers, so we rounds up the outfit, an' knowin'
he'd take a pride in it, an' do the slam-up thing, we puts in Doc Peets to deal the game unanimous.
"'Gents,' he says, as we-alls turns into the Red Light to be refreshed, 'in assoomin' the present pressure I feels the compliments paid me in the seelection.I shall act for the credit of the camp, an' I needs your help.I desires that these rites be a howlin' vict'ry.I don't want people comin' 'round next week allowin' thar ain't been no funeral, an' I don't reckon much that they will.We've got the corpse, an' if we gets bucked off now it's our fault.'
"So he app'ints Old Monte an' Dan Boggs to go for a box for Jack, an' details a couple of niggers from the corral to dig a tomb.
"'An' mind you-alls,' says Peets, `I wants that hole at least a mile from camp.In order to make a funeral a success, you needs distance.
That's where deceased gets action.It gives the procession a chance to spread an' show up.You can't make no funeral imposin' except you're plumb liberal on distances.'
"It all goes smooth right off the reel.We gets a box an' grave ready, an' Peets sticks up a notice on the stage-station door, settin' the excitement for third-drink time next day.Prompt at the drop of the hat the camp lets go all holds an' turns loose in a body to put Jack through right.He's laid out in splendid shape in the New York Store, with nothin' to complain of if he's asked to make the kick himse'f.He has a new silk necktie, blue shirt an' pearl buttons, trousers, an' boots.Some one--Benson Annie, I reckons--has pasted some co't plaster over the hole on his cheek-bone where the bullet gets in, an' all 'round Jack looks better than I ever sees him.
