TRIO - Arac, Guron and ScynthiusFor a month to dwell In a dungeon cell:
Growing thin and wizen In a solitary prison, Is a poor look out For a soldier stout, Who is longing for the rattle Of a complicated battle--For the rum - tum - tum Of the military drum And the guns that go boom!
boom!
All: The rum -- tum -- tum Of the military drum, Rum -- tum -- tum -- tummy tummy tummy tummy tum Who is longing for the rattle of a complicated battle--For the rum tum tum Of the military drum!
Prr, prr, prr, ra -- pum -- pum!
Hildebd:When Hilarion's bride Has at length complied With the just conditions Of our requisitions, You may go in haste And indulge your taste For the fascinating rattle Of a complicated battle--For the rum - tum - tum, Of the military drum, And the guns that go boom! boom!
All: The rum -- tum -- tum Of the military drum, Rum -- tum -- tum -- tummy tummy tummy tummy tum!
Who is longing for the rattle Of a complicated battle For the rum -- tum -- tum Of the military drum!
Tum, prr -- prr -- prr ra -- pum, pum!
But til that time you'll [we'll] here remain, And bail we [they] will not entertain, Should she our [his] mandate disobey, Your [Our] lives the penalty will pay!
But till that time you'll [we'll] here remain, And bail we [they] will not entertain.
Should she our [his] mandate disobey, Your [Our] lives the penalty will pay!
Should she our [his] mandate disobey, Your [Our] lives the penalty will pay!
(Gama, Arac, Guron, and Synthius are marched off.)END OF ACT IACT II
SCENEGardens in Castle Adamant.A river runs across the back of the stage, crossed by a rustic bridge.Castle Adamant in the distance.
Girl Graduates discovered seated at the feet of Lady PsycheCHORUS OF GIRLS & SOLOS (Lady Psyche, Melissa and Sacharissa)"Towards the empyrean heights"Chorus: Towards the empyrean heights Of ev'ry kind of lore, We've taken several easy flights, And mean to take some more.
In trying to achieve success No envy racks our heart, And all the knowledge we possess, We mutually impart.
SOLO -- MelissaPray, what authors should she read Who in Classics would succeed?
SOLO -- PsycheIf you'd climb the Helicon, You should read Anacreon, Ovid's Metamorphoses, Likewise Aristophanes, And the works of Juvenal:
These are worth attention, all;
But, if you will be advised, You will get them Bowdlerized!
Chorus: Ah! we will get them Bowdlerized!
SOLO -- SacharissaPray you, tell us, if you can, What's the thing that's known as Man?
SOLO -- PsycheMan will swear and man will storm--Man is not at all good form--Is of no kind of use--
Man's a donkey -- Man's a goose--
Man is coarse and Man is plain--
Man is more or less insane--
Man's a ribald -- Man's a rake, Man is Nature's sole mistake!
Chorus: We'll a memorandum make--Man is Nature's sole mistake!
And thus to empyrean height Of ev'ry kind of lore, In search of wisdom's pure delight, Ambitiously we soar.
In trying to achieve success No envy racks our heart, For all we know and all we guess We mutually impart!
And all the knowledge we possess, We mutually impart, We mutually impart, impart.
(Enter Lady Blanche.All stand up demurely)Blanche: Attention, ladies, while I read to you The Princess Ida's list of punishments.
The first is Sacharissa.She's expelled!
All: Expelled!
Blan.: Expelled, because although she knew No man of any kind may pass our walls, She dared to bring a set of chessmen here!
Sach.: (Crying) I meant no harm; they're only men of wood!
Blan.: They're men with whom you give each other mate, And that's enough! The next is Chloe.
Chloe: Ah!
Blan.: Chloe will lose three terms, for yesterday, When looking through her drawing-book, I found A sketch of a perambulator!
All: (Horrified) Oh!
Blan.: Double perambulator...
All: Oh, oh!
Blan.:...shameless girl!
That's all at present.Now, attention, pray;Your Principal the Princess comes to give Her usual inaugural address To those young ladies who joined yesterday.
CHORUS OF GIRLS
"Mighty maiden with a mission"
Girls:Mighty maiden with a mission, Paragon of common sense, Running fount of erudition, Miracle of eloquence, Altos: We are blind and we would see;Sops: We are bound, and would be free;Girls:We are dumb, and we would talk;We are lame, and we would walk.
(Enter the Princess)
Mighty maiden with a mission--
Paragon of common sense;
Running found of erudition--
Miracle of eloquence, of eloquence!
RECITATIVE & ARIA (Princess)
"Minerva! Oh, hear Me"
Princess: Minerva! Minerva!
Oh, hear me:
Oh, goddess wise That lovest light Endow with sight Their unillumin'd eyes.
At this my call, A fervent few Have come to woo The rays that from thee fall, That from thee fall.
Oh, goddess wise That lovest light, That lovest light,Let fervent words and fervent thoughts be mine, That I may lead them to thy sacred shrine!
Let fervent words and fervent thoughts be mine, That I may lead them to thy sacred shrine, I may lead them to thy sacred shrine, thy sacred shrine!
Princess:Women of Adamant, fair Neophytes--Who thirst for such instruction as we give, Attend, while I unfold a parable.
The elephant is mightier than Man, Yet Man subdues him.Why? The elephant Is elephantine everywhere but here (tapping her forehead), And Man, whose brain is to the elephant's As Woman's brain to Man's - (that's rule of three),--Conquers the foolish giant of the woods, As Woman, in her turn, shall conquer Man.
In Mathematics, Woman leads the way;
The narrow-minded pedant still believes That two and two make four! Why, we can prove, We women -- household drudges as we are--That two and two make five -- or three -- or seven;Or five and twenty, if the case demands!
Diplomacy? The wiliest diplomat Is absolutely helpless in our hands.
He wheedles monarchs -- Woman wheedles him!
Logic? Why, tyrant Man himself admits It's a waste of time to argue with a woman!
Then we excel in social qualities:
Though man professes that he holds our *** In utter scorn, I venture to believe He'd rather pass the day with one of you, Than with five hundred of his fellow-men!
