Fiona had long ago resigned herself to Christian's electric presence and devised coping strategies. She prayed they were still adequate, because this was proving a much more difficult assignment than she'd imagined.
菲奥娜早就习惯了只能收到克里斯蒂安通过网络传来的只言片语，与他那套应对方式。她暗暗祈祷，希望他们的关系能这样保持下去，可这似乎比想象中更难。
Evenings in the house should be bearable. Her guest bedroom on a lower level than the master suite meant she could escape there to read or watch TV the instant Nicky was down for the night. Caring for Nick should be easy enough with Christian not around, but it seemed he planned to remain home for a while. Fiona had expected, and hoped, he'd be at work, well out of her way.
晚上待在这间房子里还可以忍受。客房在主卧楼下，这意味着晚上妮基回到楼下的时候，她可以暂时逃避这一切，去看看书、看看电视。假如克里斯蒂安不在的话，照顾妮基其实并不麻烦，但他好像准备在家待一阵子。菲奥娜只好指望，或者说盼望着，他会出门去工作，别在这里影响她。
Anyway, he was Jan's, first and always, she reminded herself sternly as she removed the much more successful porridge from the microwave oven and added milk to cool it.
无论如何，他曾是简的爱人，这点永远都无法改变，她一边严肃地提醒自己，一边从微波炉里端出一碗做得不错的粥，往里头调入牛奶，使它冷却。
“Open wide, Nicola Jane Hartley.” She brought the teaspoon down with a flourish to her niece's rosebud mouth, playing jet-planes—copying those that dropped steadily lower over the sparkling water to land at the international airport not far away.
“张大嘴，妮可拉·简·哈特莱。”她夸张地将茶匙送进小外甥女花蕾似的小嘴里。小姑娘正在玩模型飞机——模仿不远处的客机缓缓掠过波光粼粼的湖面，降落到机场的样子。
Nicola opened her mouth like a baby bird and Fiona zoomed the spoon in. Nicky liked to feed herself, but that was a slow and messy process. The jet-plane game sped things up wonderfully, and Fiona could do without more mishaps today.
妮可拉像只嗷嗷待哺的小鸟似的张着嘴，菲奥娜得以送入一勺食物。其实，妮基挺喜欢自己吃饭的，不过她吃得很慢，又容易搞得一团糟。让她玩模型飞机显然加快了吃饭的速度，也使菲奥娜终于不用再清理“战场”。
Christian still leaned against the doorframe behind her. He'd been there for several long, tense minutes. Fiona kept her full attention on Nicky rather than risk another confrontation.
克里斯蒂安倚靠着她身后的门框。他已经在那儿站了几分钟了，漫长又紧绷的几分钟。菲奥娜只好集中精力对付妮基，避免再次面对他。
He also said nothing, then finally turned and left them to it. The rubber soles of his shoes squeaked slightly on the marble tiled floor as he departed, and at last her spine sagged, and all the muscles across her shoulders and down her back relaxed in a grateful slump.
他默默站了半晌，最终转身离去。他走动时，鞋子的橡胶底与大理石地面摩擦发出轻响。她终于松下了挺直的腰板，肩周与背部的肌肉也大大地松弛了下来。
He'd made her really uneasy with his unrelenting suggestions she should leave. She couldn't—partly because of the promise she'd made to her parents. They were hundreds of miles away in Auckland now. Both were busy doctors and had opted to return to their duties. She suspected their absorbing work would be the best distraction for them, anyway.
他一直建议她别在这里待下去了，这使她很不好过。她办不到——一部分原因是她已经答应父母了。他们现在在千里之外的奥克兰。他俩是医生，都想回去工作。她猜工作可以使他们分散一些悲伤的情绪吧。
Once she'd known her beautiful sister would be irrevocably lost, Fiona had arranged tentative bereavement leave with her employers. As the entertainments officer on the ‘Mediterranean Queen', she could be replaced for a number of cruises. Jan's condition grew critical; Fiona returned to New Zealand for a last precious time. And far sooner than anyone expected, Jan slipped away.
菲奥娜在得知可能要永远失去美丽的姐姐了，就立马向老板请了奔丧假。她负责在“地中海皇后号”上提供娱乐活动服务，可以让人顶替几个航程。简的状况越来越糟；她赶回新西兰的时候正值简的弥留之际。简的离去比人们想象得快。
Now, Fiona's luxury liner plowed through the sunny blue ocean without her, disgorging toasted passengers to admire the scenery in Spain, the south of France, Italy, Greece, Turkey, and North Africa. Until her appointed time to rejoin it, she was literally homeless.
这会儿，菲奥娜所在的那艘豪华游轮撇下她，迎着灿烂骄阳驶向大海，将被炙晒着的游客们送往各处欣赏美景，从西班牙，到南法、意大利、土耳其再到南非。在回去履职之前，她是彻头彻尾地无家可归了。
Another five and a half weeks stuck in a hotel or rattling around her parent's Auckland apartment didn't appeal in the least. Nicola was desperately in need of mothering—by turns truculent and clingy, confused and sorrowful. She wanted Momma Jan, and no explanation sufficed to placate her.
五个多礼拜过去了，无论是困在宾馆还是在她父母奥克兰的公寓附近徘徊，这些都已经没有一点儿吸引力了。妮可拉极其需要妈妈的照顾——她一会儿暴躁，一会儿又很黏人，迷惑又悲伤。她想要她的简妈咪，不管怎么解释她还是不依不饶。
Her big blue eyes fastened again and again on Fiona's, as though Auntie Fee could suddenly produce her missing mother. Fiona felt guilty and helpless. She barely had Nicola's trust yet, and she ached to bring the little girl whatever comfort was possible. Her visits home had been so sporadic she'd seen her only three times.
她大大的蓝眼睛朝菲奥娜眨了又眨，好像菲阿姨能忽然变成她那失踪了的妈妈。菲奥娜感到愧疚又无助。她还没得到妮可拉的信任，但不管怎样她都希望这个小姑娘高兴起来。过去几年里，她很少回家，只见过妮可拉三回。
And why is that, Ms Delaporte? Because you knew you had to stay away from Christian?
那这是为什么呢，德拉波特女士？因为你知道自己必须要离克里斯蒂安远远的？
She sighed as she lined up the next spoonful of porridge, acknowledging the truth of it. Christian made her heart spark and flutter. Made her skin burn. Made her yearn. She had only to be close to him and she was lost—just like she'd been lost the first time she'd met him—on his wedding day.
她继续喂了一口粥，又深深叹了一口气。她知道事实如此，克里斯蒂安就是那个让她心旌荡漾、浑身发烫的人。她对他充满渴望。她靠他近一点点就会迷失自我——就像她第一回见他就迷失了一样——而那天正是他的婚礼。
*
The rest of the morning passed peacefully enough. Christian had holed up in the cavernous garage, tinkering with one of his vintage cars. Leaving Nicky in the sandpit again, Fiona intruded with a mug of coffee for him and was amazed to find he had part of an engine in pieces. She'd assumed he'd had washing or waxing in mind.
这天早上余下的时光很平静地过去了。克里斯蒂安在他巨大的车库里埋头修起了自己的几辆老爷车。菲奥娜又把妮基带到了游戏沙坑里，自己端着一杯给他的咖啡闯进了车库，惊讶地发现他手里拿着一些引擎部件。她本以为他是在洗车或者上蜡。
“So you don't just do toasters?”
He laughed at that, more relaxed than he had been earlier. “A methodical man can take anything apart.”
“And put it back together again?”
“Unless it's broken beyond repair. These old girls are a good deal easier to play with than modern cars.”
“所以你不只是在抛光打蜡？”
他一听，止不住大笑起来，比先前放松了不少。“搞机械的人拆什么都不足为奇。”
“然后再重新组装？”
“除非它坏到再也修不好了。这些好家伙可比如今的轿车好对付多了。”
Among other things, Christian and his father owned a highly profitable business creating reproduction vintage motor vehicles, and repairing genuine old models, too. Fiona knew their main market was Japan, which seemed incongruous to her. Surely the bustling streets of Tokyo and Osaka hardly needed these big beauties adding to the traffic congestion? But maybe those cars were kept garaged as precious treasures and rarely saw the road?
克里斯蒂安与他的父亲最大的共同点就是他们都拥有一家盈利颇丰的企业，专门重新制作或者修理品质一流的老爷车。菲奥娜知道他们的主要市场是日本，这可就有点古怪了。很显然，在东京、大阪繁忙的街道上是不需要这些华丽的大家伙增加交通堵塞的？不过可能即便在那里，这些车也多半是被珍藏在车库里，鲜少上路。
“So these are real?”
Christian squatted to reach in behind a wheel. The old jeans strained around his narrow hips and long thighs so the waistband dipped to reveal a wedge of his lower back below his T-shirt hem.
“所以这些是真的？”
克里斯蒂安蹲下身去修理后轮。牛仔裤拉紧了他窄窄的的臀部与修长的大腿线条，他的T恤边缘露出了一小块后背。
Fiona had the sudden devastating sensation of her mouth moving across that strip of smooth golden skin. She could taste him on her tongue, imagine his scent, feel the tingle in her lips. She knew she should squash the outrageous scene right out of her imagination but it was so vivid and enjoyable.
菲奥娜陡然陷入了这样的臆想：她的嘴唇摩挲过这片光滑的、发光的皮肤。她用舌头去品尝他，想象他的体味，用嘴唇体味这份刺激。她知道她应该把这样香艳的画面压制下去，可这实在是太真实、太诱人了。
After a few seconds, he rose to his feet, affording her feverish mind a little relief, but still the image burned her brain. Still the guilty pleasure hung in the air.
He shook her out of her daydream when he waved an arm and said “The crème de la crème.1905…1913…the old Rolls is late twenties…that's a 1929 Alfa Zagato…a ‘36 Buick. The E-type Jag is ‘64. Not as old as the others, but a classic for sure.”
几秒钟之后，他站了起来，这多少使她烈火中烧的内心平静了一些。可这些画面仍如烈焰般在她脑海中熊熊燃烧。罪恶的愉悦感在空中回荡。
他挥舞着胳膊介绍起车子来，将她从白日梦中彻底拽了出来。“这些精品中的精品1905……1913……，这些劳斯莱斯生产于20年代末……那是1929年的阿尔法扎加托………这是36年的别克。这辆E型捷豹是64年的，跟别的车比起来，不算太老，但绝对经典。”
“Is there a chance I could borrow a car—not one of these of course—to go down into the city?”
The memory of his almost-revealed body still taunted and teased her. Her lucky sister had been able to touch him any time she wanted to.
Or maybe her not-so-lucky sister…
“我能不能借辆车——当然肯定不是这些——去趟市里？”
关于他近乎裸露身体的记忆仿佛在奚落她、戏弄她，她那好运的姐姐竟有幸能够随时触碰他。
或者说她那个也不那么幸运的姐姐……
“Take Jan's.” He shot her a glance that looked almost embarrassed. “I'm sorry I lost it earlier. It's just so damned hard coming to terms with everything right now.” He wrestled a key off his own bunch and held it toward her. “The Audi. I couldn't bear to sell it while she was still alive. Good thing I didn't maybe? We'll have to move my Merc first though.”
“开简那辆吧。”他迅速扫了她一眼，有些尴尬“很抱歉今天早上我失态了。只是现在我还很难把每件事都理出头绪。”他从钥匙串上取下一把给她。“是一辆奥迪。她在世时我差点儿没卖掉。幸好没卖，对吧？不过得先把我那辆奔驰移开。”
Fiona reached for the key and he drew a line on her palm with it. Her fingers closed over his as her hand reacted to the stimulus.
“Sorry,” she gasped.
He grinned—wonderful white teeth against his dark stubble.
He still hasn't shaved. Oh my…
“Flirting with me, sister-in-law?”
“Stop it, Christian,” she snapped, ripping the key from his long fingers.
菲奥娜伸手去拿钥匙，他用钥匙在她手上画了条线使得她的手指不由地覆上了他的。
“对不起。”她透不过气来了。
他笑了起来——露出了洁白的牙齿，映衬着黝黑的胡茬。
他还没刮胡子。天哪……
“小姨子，你是在同我调情吗？”
“住口，克里斯蒂安！”她怒冲冲地说，从他手中夺过了钥匙。
“You blush superbly,” he added, raising an eyebrow. Fiona turned and fled, unnerved by his suddenly sexy suggestion. If he had any idea what he was doing to her blood pressure, surely he'd stop it right away? Her face and neck burned, and she knew the blush would flood down through her breasts and make them feel hot and heavy.
“你的脸非常红。”他挑着眉补充道。菲奥娜转身逃开了，想着他刚刚挑逗的话语，心头小鹿乱撞。如果他知道自己的所作所为使她的血压高了多少，肯定就会停下了吧？她的脸跟脖子烧得火热，她知道这阵羞赧会一路直冲胸部，炽热又沉重。
She'd always blushed easily—although whether that qualified as‘superbly' she had no idea.
她很容易脸红——尽管她不知道这算不算得上“非常”。
Damn the man. Double damn! But at least she now had a car to use, so she could escape when being close to him became unbearable. It would make it easier to track down an obliging hairdresser as the first step in her ‘not-like-Jan' makeover, too.
这可恶的男人。太可恶了！不过至少她现在有辆车开，当她受不了在他身边待着时，就可以逃开了。她还可以更容易地去找家不错的美发店，开展“有别于简”的大改造。
She slowed, turned back, took a deep breath, and poked her head around the garage door. “If I'm so unnecessary to you, can you spare me this afternoon?”
“Fine by me. I was planning to take Nicky down to the beach at Oriental Bay for a while anyway.”
She nodded at his dismissal, located the telephone book, and took it outside before Nicky came toddling in to search for MommaJan yet again.
她慢下脚步，转过身，深呼吸，又从车库大门伸进头去。“今天下午如果你用不着我的话，我可以出去吗？”
“没问题。反正我也计划带着妮基去东方湾的海滩待一阵子。”
她冲他离去的身影点了点头，找到电话簿，趁妮基又来问简妈咪去哪儿了之前拿走电话簿。
She was still occupied in the sandpit, poor little girl. Fiona's heart ached as she watched Nic trying to make a sandcastle. What must it be like when the most important person in your life disappeared with no explanation you could understand?
她还在游戏沙坑那儿待着，可怜的小姑娘。看着妮可试着用沙子堆城堡，菲奥娜的心都快碎了。为什么事情非得发展成这样，你生命中最重要的那个人以一种你无法理解的方式消失？
Predictably, Nic's attempts to remove the red plastic bucket collapsed the sandy sides and led to tears of annoyance. Fiona hurried back into the kitchen and grabbed a wide rimmed stainless steel basin.
可想而知，妮可试图拿开红色塑料桶时，整个沙堆都塌了，于是她哇哇大哭起来。菲奥娜赶紧跑回厨房拿了一个大大的圆形不锈钢脸盆。
“This one, Nic,” she encouraged as she returned. She sat back on her heels and watched her niece's dimpled hands patting the sand into the new container. Together they made a rather breast-like ‘castle' with the more easily removed basin. Nicky was full of giggles again only seconds later.
“拿着这个，妮可。”她回来对小姑娘鼓励道。她跪坐在旁边看着她的小外甥女皱巴巴的小手把沙子放进新的容器。她们在这个更易移动的盆子里堆了一个胸脯似的“城堡”。妮基一下就破涕为笑了。
“Me do, me do,” she squealed, keen to make another all by herself.
Fiona smiled sadly. If only it were possible to distract her from her absent mother so easily.
“宝宝做到啦，宝宝做到啦！”她叫了起来，想要完全靠自己再重新做一个。
菲奥娜苦笑着。这是唯一可以轻松地把她从失踪的妈妈那里转移注意力的方法。
She riffled through the listings for hair salons, chose one at random, and reached for her mobile.
“Hi, this is Fiona Delaporte. Is there any chance one of your stylists would have time to cut and color my hair this afternoon? I know it's not much notice, but…”
She waited a few moments for the girl to check.
她翻着美发沙龙的电话簿，随意选了一个，便拿起来手机。
“您好，我是菲奥娜·德拉波特。今天下午您这儿的发型师是否有空帮我剪发跟染发？我知道本该早些打电话来的，只不过……”
她停顿了一会儿，等电话那头的女孩确认。
“Great! Past my shoulders but I want it shorter. And streaks or foils maybe? A whole new look.”
She wrinkled her nose as she disconnected. If they had an appointment free at such short notice, would they be any good?
“太好了！我的头发过肩，不过想要剪短一些。可能还要挑染或者烫一下？弄一个全新的造型。”
她皱了皱鼻头挂上了电话。如果现在这会儿都能订上，他们会不会技艺不精？
She poured herself a cup of coffee, got juice for Nicky, and lazed in one of the comfortable loungers, enjoying the sun. Nicola soon clambered onto her lap and Fiona cuddled her close, thrilled the little girl had started to trust her. They dozed together, unaware of the passing time.
她给自己倒了杯咖啡，又给妮基准备了果汁，然后就懒洋洋地躺在一张舒适的躺椅上，享受阳光浴。妮可拉爬上了她的大腿，菲奥娜又将她抱近了些，很高兴小姑娘已经开始信任她了。她们一起打了会儿瞌睡，让时光慢慢逝去。
*
Close to midday, Christian ran a cautious finger down Fiona's thigh, past her knee, and trailed it along the side of her calf. She stirred.
快到中午的时候，克里斯蒂安骚动的手指从菲奥娜的大腿拂过，划过她的膝盖，然后抵达她一侧的小腿。她动了动。
He snatched his hand away in case she woke. He'd always thought she had sensational legs. Long, and smoothly muscled like a dancer's. Lightly tanned. Presumably she got plenty of sun on her glitzy ship?
他抓住了她的手，防止她醒来挣脱。他一直认为她有一双性感的双腿，像舞者的双腿般纤长细滑。微微晒成了小麦色，或许是因为她在豪华游轮上晒够了太阳？
He indulged himself by repeating the soft caress…starting just below her white cotton shorts and running down until his fingers half encircled her slim ankle.
他沉浸在不断的轻抚中。从她白色棉质短裤下方开始，直到用手指半围起她纤细的脚踝。
He yearned to explore her all over…to sift her hair through his hands…to be so close he could smell her own intensely personal perfume. He needed to drink her in through every pore. The passing years hadn't lessened her effect on him by the tiniest fraction.
他渴望好好将她探索一番。把她的头发放在手上仔细端详。他们是那么近，近到他可以闻到她身上浓郁的香味。他周身的每一个毛孔都渴求着她。过去了这么些年，但她对他的吸引力丝毫未减。
Of all the women in the world, she was the one he couldn't have—his wife's sister. And with Jan so recently dead that made it even less possible.
世上有这么多女人，她是唯一一个他无法拥有的——他妻子的妹妹。而简才刚刚过世，他们之间更是不可能了。
If he put any sort of move on Fiona, she'd surely misconstrue his motives. Presume he was a womanizer and that any woman would do. Or pathetic and sad and lonely. Or simply over-pumped with testosterone after the enforced celibacy of Jan's decline.
如果他对菲奥娜做什么的话，她一定会误解的，会觉得他就是个花花公子，随便哪个女人都想要，或者觉得他可悲、可怜又孤独，抑或只是想发泄自简去世后无处发泄的荷尔蒙。
But the truth was simple—she fascinated him. She burned with a brighter flame than anyone he'd ever met. Attracted him intensely.
但事实其实很简单——她让他着迷。他从未见过任何人，能像她一样在自己心中燃起炽烈的火花，令他沦陷。
He'd managed, with considerable willpower and careful planning, to avoid her for most of his marriage, but the next few weeks were going to be the toughest test of his self control—and Jan was no longer even here to be faithful to.
他凭借着强大的意志力和小心翼翼的规划，在自己婚姻存续的大多数时间都尽量避免见她。而接下来的几周是对他自制力最大的考验——他已经不用再对简保持忠诚了。
He stood looking down, not touching Fiona again in case she woke. To be able to watch her openly when she was relaxed and vulnerable set his imagination into overdrive. And she cradled his child—a potent combination.
他站起来俯视着菲奥娜，不再碰她，唯恐她醒来。能够在她如此放松又脆弱的时刻直视她，这使得他的想象力又更进一层。而她正抱着他的孩子，使一切更甚。
He wanted her but couldn't have her. Sometimes life sucked. Worse than that, sometimes life dealt you an absolute double-whammy. Jan had died of breast cancer, so what were Fiona's chances of avoiding it? And Nicky's? He'd heard the gene, the genome, the DNA—whatever it was—could thread its way through a family and wreak havoc for generations. Jan and her doctor mother had been into that stuff endlessly. He really hadn't wanted to know…simply prayed it would go away. Her Mom had insisted everything possible had been done for Jan, but still it had got her.
他想要她，却无法拥有她。有时候生活就是这么无情。而更糟糕的是，有时候生活还要给你雪上加霜。简死于乳腺癌，那菲奥娜有多大可能可以免遭厄运呢？那么妮基呢？他知道基因、染色体、脱氧核糖酸——鬼知道它是什么——可以在一个家庭中代代相传，在每一代中滋滋蔓延。简跟她身为医生的母亲没完没了地遭受折磨。他一点儿也不想知道——只祈祷乳腺癌可以滚得远远的。简的母亲做了一切能做事情，却仍不能避免她免于磨难。
He sighed with resignation, slid his fingers around Fiona's warm ankle, and shook her leg.
“Lunchtime. Wake up sleepyheads.”
他无力地叹了口气，将手从菲奥娜温暖的脚踝划开，摇了摇她的腿。
“该吃午饭了。快醒醒，两个瞌睡虫。”
*
She started. She yawned. And found he'd set up a colorful sun umbrella to protect them both. Nicola blinked her bright eyes and wriggled to the ground.
她醒了，打了个哈欠，看见他撑了把五彩斑斓的阳伞保护她俩呢。妮可眨了眨明亮的眼睛，慢吞吞地挪到地上。
“Hug Daddy,” she demanded, reaching her small soft arms toward him. He swept her up.
“爸爸抱。”她撒着娇，用软软的胳膊环住他。他把她一把抱起。
“Thank you,” Fiona said, indicating the shelter.
“You'd have burnt to a crisp, both of you. Did you put any more sunscreen on her?”
She shook her head. “I didn't expect we'd doze off.”
“You're a great help, aren't you… Lunch is ready.”
“谢谢你。”菲奥娜说，指了指阳伞。
“你俩都快晒成薯片了。你给她涂防晒霜了吗？”
她摇了摇头。“我没想到我们会睡过去。”
“你可真是个好帮手，不是吗……午餐准备好了。”
“What?”She lurched to her feet. The blood left her brain with the sudden movement and she almost fell, dizzy and hot and unsteady. Christian slung an arm around her for support and pulled her in close so the three of them swayed together. Fiona found herself held against his broad chest, only inches from his taunting grin, paradise and hell in the same instant.
“什么？”她摇摇晃晃地站了起来。忽然的站立让她大脑缺血，几乎摔倒，她感到晕眩、炎热、重心不稳。克里斯蒂安伸出胳膊环住她，把她拉了回来，三个人站到了一起。菲奥娜靠在他宽阔的胸膛上，离他狡黠的笑容只有几英寸的距离，天堂地狱一线间。
His hipbone pressed against her groin, and she sent up a silent ‘thank-you' she'd not stumbled against him front-on. It was bad enough feeling the pressure right there and knowing he was the source.
他的髋骨压着她的大腿，她看着他，流露出感激的目光，感谢使她免于跟他撞上。感受着这压力并知道是他，这真是太糟了。
Nicola reached across and grabbed a handful of Fiona's hair.
“Don't, darling,” she said, flinching and unable to escape from the surprisingly firm grasp.
“I'll fix it,” Christian said, moving his arm up over her shoulders and sliding his fingers along her neck to her jawbone. “Let go, Nicky—you're hurting Auntie Fee.”
Nicky gave a naughty giggle.
妮可拉的手穿了过去，一把抓住菲奥娜的头发。
“别这样，亲爱的。”她说着向后扬了扬脑袋，却没能挣脱这强大的抓力。
“看我的。”克里斯蒂安说，从她肩上伸过手去，手指从她的脖子滑向下巴。“放开手吧，妮基——你弄疼菲阿姨了。”
妮基顽皮地哧哧笑了起来。
He tipped his head back to focus on Fiona's face. His dark eyes held hers for too long. Unable to bear such close scrutiny, she squeezed hers shut.
他转回头来看着菲奥娜的脸，深邃的目光在她身上停留了太久。她实在受不了这样仔细的打量，强迫自己抽出身来。
No, this can't be happening again.
不，这绝不能发生。
Waves of wanting swept over her, followed swiftly by a great wash of guilt. He was beautiful, dangerous, and she had to remember he was totally out of bounds.
满含渴望的秋波扫过她，她感到莫大的愧疚。他是那么英俊又那么危险，她必须时刻记得，他不能是她的。
Finally his hand moved in her hair…tangling with Nicola's tiny fingers and loosening her playful grip. Fiona felt both relief and regret flood through her as they pulled apart and he walked back into the kitchen with his daughter.
最终，他的手掠过了她的头发，与妮可拉小小的手指纠缠在了一起，让她松开了顽皮的手掌。他们终于分开的时候，菲奥娜感觉轻松与失落一同涌上了心头，只好看着他带着女儿走向厨房。
This was wrong. Terribly wrong. She shouldn't find her dead sister's husband so desirable.
这是个错误。彻头彻尾的错误。她不应该渴望着自己死去的姐姐的丈夫。
Okay, she'd always thought him a handsome man. But he and Jan were the perfect couple. He was her sister's, pure and simple, and that's how it had to stay.
是的，她一直认为他是个英俊的男人。但他和简才是完美的一对。他是她姐姐的，这点明了又真实，应该一直保持下去。
She'd not met him before their wedding day. Had barely arrived in time because of a sudden airline strike. Her first real view of him had been standing at the altar in his wedding finery.
她没在他们的婚礼之前见过他。因为一起突然的航班事故，她只能刚刚赶上婚礼。所以她第一次见他，就是他身着华服，站在婚礼的圣坛上。
She'd known he was tall from Jan's emails, and he stood to his full height—no slouching while he waited for his bride. His hair was dark, crisp, newly cut…the line at his neck precise where it met his skin. Olive skin. It was mid-winter, so wouldn't be a local suntan. She'd willed him to turn around so she could really see his face.
从简之前的邮件里，她就已经知道他很高了，此时他又笔挺地站着——精神抖擞地迎接自己的新娘。他的头发刚刚剪过，又黑又硬……脖子的线条与肤色匹配得正好。橄榄色的皮肤。那时正值冬季，所以这绝不是在本地晒的。她希望他能转过身来，那样她就可以好好看看他的脸。
His shoulders were broad, although he didn't appear chunkily built. From the back of the shadowy, darkly timbered church it was difficult to see more—the fancy hats of the wedding guests cut across his body, obscuring him.
他的肩膀很宽阔，但绝不是敦实的那种。从幽暗的郁郁葱葱的教堂后面很难看得再清了。婚礼宾客戴着的时髦帽子挡住了他的身体，使他更加模糊不清。
Sweetly scented festoons of carnations and ivy garlanded each pew-end, spicy as Christmas pudding; their perfume still floated through her memory.
康乃馨甜蜜的芬芳，长椅两端的花环弥漫着像圣诞布丁一样的香气；她的记忆里仍镌刻着那些香味。
She'd stood just inside the church doors for a minute or so with her cousin, Louise, the other bridesmaid; the magnificent vintage car with Jan and her Dad had stopped for traffic lights, and fallen a little behind.
她和另一个伴娘表妹露易丝，在教堂的门内侧站了大概一分钟。载着简和她父亲的豪华复古车因为交通灯的关系，稍稍到得迟了一些。
“Can you see them yet?” she'd asked.
“你看到他们了吗？”她问。
Louise had peered out for a couple of seconds and then shaken her head.“They won't be long. Let's hope this wind doesn't yank her veil off!”
露易丝往门外看了几秒，然后摇了摇头。“他们应该快到了，但愿大风别把她的面纱给吹掉了。”
The day was clear but bitingly cold. Wellington's famed southerly wind swirled and tugged and whistled, and Fiona's rustling shot-taffeta dress afforded her no warmth at all.
那天天气晴朗，但非常寒冷。惠灵顿著名的南风正劲。菲奥娜沙沙作响的闪光塔夫绸裙子一点都不保暖。
She and Louise had gone out to greet Jan and her Dad when the big car arrived, and hung onto the pesky veil until the bride was safely inside the church.
那辆豪车到的时候，她和露易丝出去同简及她父亲打招呼，并一直压着恼人的面纱，好让新娘可以顺利地进入教堂。
And as their little procession started up the aisle, Christian had finally swung around to watch his wife-to-be walking toward him.
当他们这小小的队列走上过道的时候，克里斯蒂安终于转过身来，望向了他未来的妻子。
Fiona's breath had caught in her throat. Lucky Jan!
菲奥娜惊得深吸了一口气。简实在太幸运了！
Christian's dark eyes fastened avidly on his bride. His smile of welcome lit up half the church. It was a love match for sure, and he was as gorgeous in the flesh as he'd appeared in the emailed photos.
克里斯蒂安深邃的目光定格在他的新娘身上。他欢迎的微笑点亮了半座教堂。这是一对因爱而结合的佳侣。他真人与邮件里的照片一样光彩夺目。
Her beautiful sister deserved a hunky husband. Fiona thought they looked perfect together as they strolled back down the aisle after the service. She'd found it hard not to feel just a little jealous of Jan's good fortune. Christian was more than handsome, more than attentive, and already much more than a millionaire. The other men simply weren't noticeable beside him.
她美丽的姐姐是配得上这样一个英俊的丈夫的。他们完成仪式后从圣坛上走了下来，菲奥娜觉得他们是那样地般配。她很难不嫉妒简的好运。克里斯蒂安不仅英俊，还引人注目，更是一个富翁。令他身旁的其他男人都相形见绌。
“Smile!” the photographer had called as they reached the church steps. The winter sun poured down its blessing and they'd all laughed and played to the camera. The later shots made much of the fantastic old cars—Jan's foot coquettishly posed on a running board as she displayed the lacy garter on her thigh…Fiona and Louise leaning out through the windows, showing far too much cleavage…Christian and his groomsmen ‘driving' with the top down as Jan and Fiona and Louise pretended to hitch a ride, skirts fluttering in the wind.
“笑一个！”他们走下教堂阶梯的时候，摄影师冲他们喊道。冬日暖阳倾泻在他们身上，他们冲着相机微笑、玩闹了起来。之后又拍了许多那几辆炫酷的老爷车的照片。简风情万种地站在汽车踏板上，露出腿上的蕾丝袜带……菲奥娜跟露易丝靠在车窗上，秀起了胸部……克里斯蒂安跟伴郎脱了上衣“开车”，而简，菲奥娜和露易丝则假装想搭便车，她们的短裙在风中飘扬。
All the while, Christian had been perfectly polite, and just a little distant. Understandable, Fiona supposed. She'd never set eyes on him before that day, and he was being careful not to put a foot wrong with his new sister-in-law. He had eyes only for Jan, and that was what mattered, after all.
克里斯蒂安全程都很礼貌，得体地保持着一点点距离。菲奥娜心想：这可以理解。她之前从未见过他，而他也很谨慎，不想得罪新小姨子。他的目光永远只停留在简身上，毕竟那也是唯一重要的人。
They'd had their one obligatory groom-and-bridesmaid dance at the reception and Fiona had walked into his arms relaxed with champagne and happiness. He was a dream to dance with. They moved together so fluidly she felt she'd known him for years. Her hand on his shoulder easily established there was a big strong man under the fabric of his jacket and not merely shoulder pads. Her other hand, gripped warmly in his, tingled as he rubbed his thumb up and down hers in time to the music. She remembered watching that thumb and enjoying the tiny unexpected caress.
招待宴上，他们依惯例跳了一支新郎与伴娘的舞。就着香槟的酒劲儿，以及快活的心情，菲奥娜轻松地步入了他的臂弯。谁不想和他翩翩起舞呢。他们的动作是那么协调，仿佛两人已相识多年。他搭在她肩头的手表明了穿着夹克的是一具强壮的身体而非单薄的肩膀。她的另一只手，被他温暖地握住，随着音乐的起伏上下摩挲。她还记得那时自己注视着那只大拇指，并暗暗享受着这意想不到的轻抚。
At the end of the dance, he'd twirled her around in a circle and stopped her with his body. They'd bumped together and stayed frozen for a magic second or two, breast to chest, hip to hip. Then he'd dipped his head and kissed her softly on the lips.
一曲终了，他带着她转了一个圈，然后用身体使她停了下来。他们撞在了一起，彼此凝视了一两秒，胸部对胸膛，臀部对臀部，仿佛充满魔力似的，然后他轻轻地低下头，吻上了她的唇。
