“You had a graduate degree in mathematics.You were a brilliant teacher.But after I started doing well in high school math,you lost all your abilities.Tell me it was a coincidence!”
“Darling,you’re upset.Probably too much stress.”
“No!No!I can’t stand taking from you anymore!I never wanted to go to grad school for that MBA.I never had the ambition.But you did.You had more ambition than ten women!Until I needed it,and then—then suddenly I burned with the desire to prove myself and you—you gave up.That’s when you started working at the supermarket.”
“I wanted a lower stress job.”
“I told you I was lonely but I thought I would never find anyone who would want to marry me,and then suddenly Bob turned into the most committed man I could ever imagine,and Dad suddenly lost interest in you and wandered off with that stupid woman across the street.”
“Now surely you’re not saying I’m responsible for your father’s failings,are you?”asked her mother,smiling weakly.
“I’m saying you gave up your own desirability,to give it to me!At tremendous cost to you!But that wasn’t all,either,was it?”
“Sonya,you really shouldn’t get yourself worked up this way.It can’t be good for you.”
“And then,”Sonya continued,ignoring the older woman,“when I needed that extra energy to do all the work I had to do in my first executive position,suddenly I had the energy I needed,and you could barely drag yourself out of bed in the morning!”
“I just wanted to see you succeed.”
“Why?”Sonya dropped down on her knees in front of her mother’s wheelchair,clutching her mother’s frail hands.“Why did you do all this to yourself?Why?I’m not worth it,Mom!No success I’ve had in my life is worth what you’ve done to yourself,for me!”
“Oh,”said her mother,stroking Sonya’s hair,“you’re wrong about that.Everything I did,everything I gave up,was worth it because of you,of what you’ve made of yourself.”
“Mom,Mom,please,I’m begging you,take it back.I don’t want my success on these terms!I don’t want to see you grow more and more frail,more and more helpless,just so that I can grow stronger and richer and more famous!”
“What’s holding you back now?”asked her mother.“Why didn’t you get the promotion?”
“I’m not going to tell you!Aren’t you listening to me?I don’t want you to do more to yourself for me!”
Her mother looked down at her for a few seconds,and then nodded.“Ah,yes,I see.I understand,dear.You’re almost there,aren’t you?You just need a little more,just a tad more strength,but it’s all right.You’re going to get it,don’t worry.”
Sonya raised her head,horrified.“No,Mom!I told you,I don’t want it!Don’t—whatever you’re going to do,don’t do it!”
Her mother’s head snapped backwards,and her eyes rolled in her head.Sonya,horrified,clutched at her mother’s wrist.The pulse was barely discernible.Sonya screamed,and the personnel at the nursing home rushed toward them.
But before they arrived,her mother’s eyes opened for a second,and for the last time,Sonya saw the intelligence she always remembered in her mother.“Have a daughter,”her mother breathed.“Do it for her.”
