I think of him when I complain about trifles， when I am envious of anothers good fortune， when I dont have a “good heart”.
A Good Heart to Lean On
When I was growing up， I was embarrassed to be seen with my father. He was severely crippled and very short， and when we would walk together， his hand on my arm for balance， people would stare. I would inwardly squirm at the unwanted attention. If he ever noticed or was bothered， he never let on.
每当我为琐事而抱怨时，或是妒忌别人的好运时，抑或为自己缺乏“善心”时，我就会不由自主地想起父亲。
善心可依
在我成长的岁月中，很长一段时间，我一直羞于让别人看见我和父亲走在一起。他腿上有严重的残疾，身材矮小。每当我们走一起时，他总是把手搭在我的肩上，用来保持身体的平衡，人们总会盯着我们看。这时，一种厌烦的情绪就会在我体内油然而生。即使父亲察觉出来，或是为此感到痛苦，也从不会对我表现出来。
It was difficult to coordinate our steps—his halting， mine impatient—and because of that， we didnt say much as we went along. But as we started out， he always said， “You set the pace. I will try to adjust to you. ”
Our usual walk was to or from the subway subway n.地道， 地铁 ， which was how he got to work. He went to work sick， and despite nasty weather. He almost never missed a day， and would make it to the office even if others could not. A matter of pride.
When snow or ice was on the ground， it was impossible for him to walk， even with help. At such times my sisters or I would pull him through the streets of Brooklyn， NY， on a childs sleigh to the subway entrance. Once there， he would cling to the handrail handrail n.栏杆， 扶手 until he reached the lower steps that the warmer tunnel tunnel n.隧道， 地道 air kept icefree.
我们很难步调一致——他步履蹒跚，而我却步伐急躁——正是这个原因，一路上我们很少交谈。然而每次出行前，他总是会说，“你走你的，我设法跟上你”。
我们常往返于家与他上班要坐的地铁之间。无论是生病还是天气恶劣，他都会去上班。他几乎没有耽误一天的工作，就是别人没法去，他也一定会去。这实在是值得骄傲的事！
当地面满是冰雪的时候，若是没有帮助，他简直举步维艰。每当此时，我或我的姐妹们就用儿童雪橇把他从纽约布鲁克林大街拉到地铁入口处。每次他都会紧紧地抓住扶手，直到达到底下的台阶才松手，因为那里通道的空气暖和些，地面上没有结冰。
In Manhattan the subway station was the basement of his office building， and he would not have to go outside again until we met him in Brooklyn on his way home.
When I think of it now， I marvel at how much courage it must have taken for a grown man to subject himself to such indignityindignity n.轻蔑， 侮辱， 侮辱的行为 and stress. And at how he did it—without bitternessbitterness n.苦味， 辛酸， 苦难 or complaintcomplaint n.诉苦， 抱怨， 牢骚， 委屈， 疾病 .
He never talked about himself as an object of pity， nor did he show any envy of the more fortunate or able. What he looked for in others was a “good heart”.
Now that I am older， I believe that is a proper standard by which to judge people， even though I still dont know precisely precisely adv.正好 what a “good heart” is. But I know the times I dont have one myself.
在曼哈顿，地铁站就在他办公楼的地下一层，直到我们在布鲁克林接他回家之前，他不需要再走到外面去。
现在，当再次想起这些时，我为一个成年男子在这样的屈辱与重压之下所具有的勇气而感到惊叹不已！折服他竟然能够做到这一点，不带任何痛苦，没有丝一抱怨。
他从不说自己可怜，也从不嫉妒别人的运气与能力。他看中的是别人拥有“善良的心”。
如今，我已长大成人，我明白了“善良的心”是对人的一种很恰当的评价标准，尽管我还不很清楚它的确切涵义，但是我知道自己有缺乏善心的时候。
Unable to engage in many activities， my father still tried to participate in some way. When a local sandlot sandlot n.沙地， 小孩们的运动用空地 baseball team found itself without a manager， he kept it going. He was a knowledgeable knowledgeable adj.知识渊博的， 有见识的 baseball fan and often took me to Ebbets Field to see the Brooklyn Dodgers play. He liked to go to dances and parties， where he could have a good time just sitting and watching.
On one memorable occasion a fight broke out at a beach party， with everyone punching and shoving. He wasnt content to sit and watch， but he couldnt stand unaided unaided adj.未受协助的， 独立的 on the soft sand. In frustration he began to shout， “I ll fight anyone who will sit down with me！”
Nobody did. But the next day people kidded him by saying it was the first time any fighter was urged to take a dive even before the bout began.
虽然许多活动父亲不能参加，但他仍设法以某种方式参与进来。当一个地方棒球队发现缺少一个领队时，他便自告奋勇，承担这一职务。因为他是一个有着丰富的棒球知识的棒球迷，并常带我到埃比茨棒球场观看布鲁克林的鬼精灵队的比赛。他喜欢参加舞会和晚会，只是坐在那儿观看，就会心满意足了。
记得有一次，在海边晚会上有人打架，每个人都推推搡搡或拳打脚踢。他不甘于坐在那里当观众，可在柔软的沙地上他无法自行站立。于是，失望之下，他喊道：“谁想坐下和我打？”
无人响应。第二天，人们都和他开玩笑说仗还没有打，开仗的人就被劝服了，还是头一次看见这样的奇事呢。
I now know he participated in somethings vicariously through me， his only son. When I played ball (poorly)， he “played” too. When I joined the Navy， he “joined” too. And when I came home on leave， he saw to it that I visited his office. Introducing me， he was really saying， “This is my son， but it is also me， and I could have done this， too， if things had been different.” Those words were never said aloud.
He has been gone many years now， but I think of him often. I wonder if he sensed my reluctance reluctance n.不愿， 勉强 to be seen with him during our walks. If he did， I am sorry I never told him how sorry I was， how unworthy I was， how I regretted it. I think of him when I complain about trifles trifle n.琐事， 少量， 蛋糕， 小事 ， when I am envious of anothers good fortune， when I dont have a “good heart”.
At such times I put my hand on his arm to regain my balance， and say， “You set the pace， I will try to adjust to you.”
现在我知道有些事他是通过我——他惟一的儿子来代他完成的。在我打球的时候(虽然打得不好)，他也会“打球”。在我参加海军的时候，他也“参加”。在我休假回家的时候，他一定要我到他的办公室去，介绍我时，他真切地说：“这是我儿子，但也是我自己，如果情况不是如此，我也会去参军的。”
如今，父亲已经离开我们多年，但我常会想起他。我不知道他是否留意到我曾经不愿意让人看到和他我一起走路的心理。如果他早已看出，那么我感到很遗憾，因为我从没对他说我感到多么抱歉、多么卑劣、多么悔恨。每当我为琐事而抱怨时，或是妒忌别人的好运时，抑或为自己缺乏“善心”时，我就会不由自主地想起父亲。
此时，我会把手放在他的肩上，让我自己保持平衡，并且说：“你走你的，我设法跟上你。”
本文中我们看到了一个儿子对父亲所抱有的惭愧心情，因为他曾经不愿意与残疾的父亲走在一起。但是，父亲的“善心”却时时刻刻影响着儿子，用自己的身体力行证明着作为一个父亲的伟大。让我们从现在开始，亲近我们所爱的、同时又爱我们的人吧，不要给自己留下遗憾。
