脑袋要炸了，我是不是在做梦？
哪有人做梦每次还能上下连贯起来，看电影和小说，有的人一个阶段里总是做着同一个梦，说是记忆深处的信息被唤醒了，也说是前世的记忆。
我就是个县级医院的普通大夫，岁数也不小了，院里骨外科的效益一般，这么一小县城哪有那么多人整天来截肢和复位的。
科主任姓柴是院长的小舅子医术差劲，但人家有个院长姐夫，我一没有背景二没有钱，又不会溜须拍马，还是个直男，在柴主任出了几个不算大的医疗事故后，幸好是骨外科，不然给人家在肚子里落个纱布和造成大出血，估计患者就难受了！
在早会上指出了他的问题，接下来就明摆着一直被穿小鞋了。
我连个投诉的地方都没有，院长人家是一家子。
我是个单亲家庭，老爸生前是县里的纪委干部，家里经济条件不好，但有一样东西多“书多”。
他熟读中国历史喜欢法家思想，家里的衣柜和装被子的行李柜都被他装的满满当当的书。
老妈叫他孔老二，说他只会看书讲书，一回家就捧着书坐在院子里看，也不帮老妈干家务，当然也就经常被老妈抱怨。
他单位有个科员，媳妇有精神病，他连着三个月偷偷的把工资给人家看病，跟我老妈说单位压工资没发，后来老妈去老爸单位去找领导要工资才知道实情。
虽说我爸事出有因是帮助同志，老妈还是狠骂了他一顿，叫他不要吃饭了，也不要在这个家了，让他去五台山当和尚普度众生去。
老爸被骂得不说话，拿本书去院子里，老妈见他不回应，就告诉他以后工资必须上交，工资日老妈去单位领钱。
这个事过了一段时间，老妈发现家里的剩菜和粗粮总是会少，吃了饭老爸也不在院子看书，拿着一个小包袱就出门了。
老妈就偷偷的跟了去看他搞些什么，走了不远，见老爸一直往西走到一处废弃很久的库房里，老妈走近了听见里面传出嘎嘎嘎的鸭子叫声。
扒开门一看，见老爸拿着从家里带来的剩菜喂鸭子，剩菜不多已经喂完了。
那鸭子长的毛色乌突突的也不知是什么品种，可能是喂不饱一个个骨瘦嶙峋，老妈终于知道老爸那衣服上的臭味哪来的了。
老爸正笨手笨脚的给鸭子清理鸭屎，突然听到门口扑哧一声笑声，转头看去见老妈正立在门前叉着腰看着他。
老爸一手拿着喂鸭子的盆，一手拿着一把破扫把，脚踩在鸭屎里一脸被抓包的惊恐表情。
原来老爸被老妈控制住经济命脉后，他用我妈用家里粗粮换的鸭蛋，让前院的邻居老陈家的鸭子帮着孵蛋，居然真的孵出五只小鸭子，不顾孵蛋的鸭妈妈感受，强行带走了这几只小鸭子。
带到之前踩好点的空置库房里，给他们盖了一个简易鸭舍，靠从家里偷带剩饭养活这几只可怜的鸭子。
当然现在就这三只了，那两只应该是被饿死了吧。
老爸说，生病的那家同事经济很困难，借了很多钱看病，现在那个同事因为劳累和压力也病倒了，他想自己养几只鸭子给他们家炖点鸭汤补一补。
老妈听完又看着他的样子，又好气又好笑，从院子外边掰下一根柳树枝，让老爸站到一边，跟他说这几只鸭子再这样养下去估计不是饿死也是会被黄鼠狼叼走了。
把鸭子带回去吧，养大了送去两只留一只，毕竟是吃咱家的粮养的不能总这么亏着。
老爸这才如释重负，老爸的才学和人品在县里很有口碑，后来又上了夜大，我九岁那年老妈和我外公说老爸要被提干了，组织部已经谈话了。
但当时老爸正在查一起大案，就在这一年的除夕，老爸失踪了。
生不见人死不见尸，于是乎孤儿寡母的苦难日子来到了，有多苦？比悲情电视剧里的的演的还苦！
终于我长大成人了，都说穷人家的孩子有出息，但你一没钱二没背景，亲戚更是躲得远远的，你拿啥有出息，靠我们那穷乡僻壤的几个老师也真教不出来大学生（就算我找个借口吧）
读了一个医科大专，也跟老妈一样当了一名白衣天使，老妈是内科医生，我也从医院门诊终于熬到了住院部的骨外科的科室医生。
但命运多踹我，再次被命运圈踢的我还是遇到了一个柴主任，自此再难出头，老婆是县水利局的技术员，我突然发现我怎么也想不起来她的样子和生活在一起的日子了。
我还有一个十一岁的女儿，也记不起来了！
我去……
我究竟发生了什么，我现在身处的这个地方究竟是我的梦境，还是我的前世？
现实里的生活真的觉得没啥意思，单位里面受气，自己年纪已经是个中年大叔，这一辈子也没干啥有出息的事情。
总觉得自己也就这么苦逼的过完了，唯一的念想就是和媳妇把孩子养大成人，希望她能健健康康，找个好工作再能碰到个对她好的男人，生儿育女也就行了。
自己再过十来年干不动就去行政了，骨外是个体力活，赶上一个大手术七八个小时也是常有，自己的身体现在还行，但再有个七八年肯定在手术台坚持不了那么久了。
外科医生的特点自然是很严谨，身体不行了要么就退了，要么就转去行政，最后退了休给姑娘带带孩子，一不小心得个心梗或是脑血栓就直接game over 了。
这一辈子就这么无精打采的苦逼结束了……
但现在呢，明显是出了什么古怪，居然在自己中年时候闯入了这样一个地方，虽然不知道是梦境还是前世，总之比自己现在过的日子要有趣和刺激。
最重要的是我知道自己还是个少年，因为老姐只有十八九岁的样子，我能大到哪去，不过现在我连自己的模样和年纪都不知道也是醉了。
这些不重要，现在我年少多金，而且还一身本领，想到这瞬间觉得什么叫满血复活的人生？老天怜爱，这真的是生于动荡死于安乐啊，哥的人生终于是有了奇迹，拿好手里的瓜等着看场大戏吧。
Head to blow up， am I dreaming?
Which someone dream every time we can coherently， watching movies and novels， some people always had the same dream， in a phase， the depths of the memory information is aroused， and that it was the memory of past lives.
I am a ordinary doctor of county-level hospitals， age also not small， the benefit of the hospital orthopedic surgery， so a small county town where there are so many people all day long to amputation and reset.
Division director surnamed chai is the brother-in-law， dean of the medical skill badly， but the somebody else have a dean brother-in-law， I have no background 2 don't have money， eg: without， is still a straight men， in the wood， director of after a few not big medical accident， fortunately is bone surgery， otherwise give somebody else falls in belly a gauze and cause bleeding， patients with estimated afflictive!
At the early meeting points out his problem， then obviously has been down.
I didn't even have a complaint place， dean the somebody else's family.
I am a single parent families， father is a county commission for discipline inspection of the staff， family economic condition is not good， but there is one thing more “books“.
He read Chinese history like legalists， home of the chest and put a quilt of luggage were he assumed full of books.
Mom told him to hole middle child， said he would only read book， holding a book sitting in the yard to see when I came back， also not to help my mother do housework， of course， it is often complain about my mother.
His unit has a clerk， daughter-in-law with psychosis， he spent three months secretly give salary to the somebody else see the doctor， say unit pressure wages not sent with my mom， then my mom dad unit to find the leadership to wages didn't know the truth.
Although my dad for a reason is to help comrades， mom or malicious scolded him， told him not to have a meal， also don't in the home， let him go wutai mountain when the monk purdue beings.
Dad is scold not to talk， take the book to the courtyard， old mama to see he did not respond， tell him later must pay salary， wages， old mama to unit brought the money.
This matter after a while， mother found home leftovers and whole grains will always less， eat the rice dad reading is not in the yard， holding a small burden is to go out.
Secretly to go to see his mother only doing something， not far away， see dad always went west to an abandoned for a long time in the warehouse， mam approach in which could be heard ducks quack quack ga.
Opens the door and saw dad take leftovers from home feed the ducks， few leftovers already fed up.
That duck long getting also don't know what is the variety of color black， might be enough slim figured， mom finally know dad where the smell on the clothes.
Dad is clumsy to clear duck duck excrement， suddenly heard the door straight a loud laughter， turned to look see mom looked at him with stand in front of the fork wear a waist.
Father in one hand and a feed the ducks in the basin， with a broken broom in one hand and foot in the duck excrement a face of fearful faces get caught.
Originally after dad is old mama control the economic lifeline， he with coarse grains in the duck eggs in the home， my mother let the front yard of the neighbor of the Chen family help to lay eggs， duck was really with five new chicks hatched in a duck， regardless of their mother duck， forcibly took the little duck.
To trample better empty warehouse before， for they have built a simple duck， steal from home on the duck with the leftover food to feed the poor.
Three right now of course， the two should be starved to death.
Dad said， sick economy is difficult， the colleague borrowed a lot of money to see a doctor， now the colleagues because overworked and pressure also fell ill， he want to raise a few ducks to their home braised duck soup to mend.
Mom listened to and looked at him， again spirit again funny， from the yard outside broke off a willow branch， let dad standing to one side and told him that a few ducks again so keep on estimates will not starve to death by weasels diao away.
To bring back the duck， raised the send to two only one， after all， is not always eat the bread which I keep such a loss.
This just relieved， old daddy's intellect and personality in the county has a lot of word of mouth， and then went to community college， I was nine when my mom and my grandfather said dad is which， organization department have conversation.
But dad was checked with major， in the New Year's eve， dad was missing.
See people die see resin， as a result of widows and orphans suffering day come， how much?
Finally I grown up， all said that the poor children have ambition， but you have no money， no background， relatives are far away， you take what have ambition， on our the hinterland couldn't really teach the teachers college students (even if my excuse!)
Read a medical college， also like old mama when a white angel， my mother is a physician， I am finally back from the hospital outpatient service in the inpatient department of bone surgery doctor.
But fate more kick me， again by the destiny played I still met a wood， director of since it is difficult to imagine， the wife is the county's water technician， I suddenly found that I how also can't remember her appearance and life together.
I have a 10 year old daughter， also can't remember!
I go to...
I what happened， I now in this place is my dream， or my past?
In real life really think do not have what meaning， unit inside suffer indignities， I am already a middle-aged uncle， this lifetime didn't also do have ambition.
Always feel so helpless pain had done， and there is only one mind and daughter-in-law raise up their children， and I hope she can healthy， find a good job to meet a nice man to her again， having children also.
Myself in another ten years do not move to administrative， bone is a physical strength live， catch a big surgery is often seven or eight hours， your body are ok now， but must have a 78 on the operating table had not been that long.
Surgeons characteristics of nature is very rigorous， body now or back， or to turn to administrative， finally retired for the girl with child， do not take care to have a heart attack or stroke directly game over.
In my life so listless helpless pain over...
Right now， but what is clearly the odd， even in his middle age time into such a place， although I don't know is a dream or life， all in all is fun and exciting than he was now a day.
The most important thing is that I know I was a teenager， because only the appearance of the late teens kiddo， I can go， but now I don't even know your appearance and age is drunk.
These are not important， now I was more gold， but also a skill， think of this moment think what is full blood resurrection life?
